Senators Rubio and McCain Proud to Support Ridiculously Photogenic Syrian Rebel

Senator Rand Paul offered a stinging rebuke to establishment figures from both parties during a Senate Foreign Relations hearing. (See video below.) No one refuted that Al-Qaeda forces are fighting against the Syrian government. Strangely, Senator Rubio sited this fact as a reason for intervention.

The U.S. cannot solve every conflict on the planet, but I believe it’s in the national interest of the United States to ensure that the strongest, best-organized, and best-funded elements in a post-Assad Syria and even before his fall are interests that are aligned with us and are friendlier to us than the alternative.

It’s unclear how establishment figures such as McCain and Rubio expect to fully vet the Syrian rebels and approve them for weapons. It’s been suggested that this could be done by tweaking a few obscure provisions provided by Obamacare.

Senator Rubio acknowledged that vetting the rebels could prove “tricky business” and that the continued killing of Christians and burning of churches could prove awkward. “That being said, there’s this really good looking guy over there–Senator McCain just met with him and I got a signed poster and everything–he’s far too handsome to be mixed up with Al-Qaeda.”

Sources confirm to iroots.org that Senators Lindsey Graham and McCain (and now Rubio) have signed posters of “The Ridiculously Photogenic Syrian Rebel” in their offices and tweet frequently.

I wish this was fully satire…Most of it is true.

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted last Tuesday to authorize arming ‘moderate’ elements of the Syrian opposition.